Hemingway's "death loneliness."

This morning, I started the day reading A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway. I'm almost finished this book, just getting to the part where Hemingway has gotten to know Zelda Fitzgerald, Scott Fitzgerald's wife.

There are a few interesting tidbits from the book.

• "Bang" was used in the 1920s as crude slang for intercourse. I had no idea it was so long lived.
• Ernest Hemingway may have drank a lot, but he did not drink before he wrote something he considered good, while he was writing at any part of the day, nor after dinner.
• Scott Fitzgerald was a very loyal and good friend to Hemingway when he was sober, but turned very dramatic and hysterical when even a little drunk.
• Fitzgerald also couldn't spell very well and took him 2 years to spell Hemingway's name correctly.

And knowing how Hemingway lived his life, certainly a writer's life, I am inspired to live my life more disciplined as well. I'm just not very good at it. I don't drink much, but what would I consider my drink? Video games? The internet?

I saw this page a couple months ago, and it made an impression on me as well: http://theknow.ask.com/i-lived-a-day-according-to-ben-franklins-schedule-and-it-changed-my-life.

I want to live diligently and in a self-disciplined way, but I am not naturally diligent. I work hard under pressure or inspiration or duty, but my nature is not to wake up and work. I would find a lot of satisfaction and fulfillment is getting my work finished before I play or relax, but I have a hard time with that. I think when I'm surrounded by people with those good habits, I take them on and become better, almost organically, but left to my own devices, I struggle.

Another tidbit that resonated with me from the book was this: "... I felt the death loneliness that comes at the end of every day that is wasted in your life." I felt that too from time to time in my past, but I wonder if I've become accustomed to it. I need to live my life fully, making sure each day I do something "good" and work towards something greater. Diligence is such a difficult virtue for me. Help!